Illusions in the Mist
by Lunarasea
Summary: Lirah likes her job. She likes her marshmallow-loving boss. She likes killing people, but she doesn't like liking to kill people. And then a certain blonde Cavallone comes along...and her loyalties are put to the test. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Book full of Paper,

I thought "diary" sounded too stupid. So yeah. :]

Anyways. I'm just trying this out, and my guess is that I'll probably drop it, stop it, and give it up soon, because writing in you is just too annoying and time-eating. It's not the first time I've tried to keep a journal. Or diary. Whatever.

But for now, I'll just go ahead and do what every single journal-keeping idiot seems to like to do. I'll introduce myself. Hi, I'm Lauhnn Rosanne Mariah Carlson Ghirlanda. But no sane idiot would say something like that. My parents just thought it was the most amazing joke ever. Maybe they just really like Mary-Sue names.

I think that they need to be ambulanced to the nearest asylum as soon as possible.

Just call me Lirah, 'kay? I've got plenty of other nicknames you could use, but maybe I'll list them out later when I'm bored. Gotta save some stuff to talk about, right?

Right?

Oh darn. You're a sheet of paper. You can't talk. It doesn't matter anyways. Gah.

So. I'm currently 19…and a half. My birthday is on February 28th. I know, close call. Very close call.

I work for…the mafia.

Shock? Probably not much, since you probably think that I'm an insane lunatic already. No matter. But well, I'm Italian. I live in Italy. Italy has mafias. Mafias are cool. I like mafias. Therefore, I should join the mafia.

Plenty of premises and a solid conclusion. My philosophy teacher would be proud.

So hey, I joined the mafia. It wasn't that easy, though.

See, what I'd tried to do was to get them to catch me, and if they didn't kill me, then I'd catch a chance to tell them of my ambitions. It didn't exactly work out that way though. One day, I was wandering the city looking for trouble (again), and along comes a weird white-haired dude with a weird tattoo and a weird hairstyle and a generally weird expression on his face.

His expression was weird because he was smiling, and that face looked like it would be a crime to let a face like that smile, 'cause all ladies in the nearby areas would simply die of adoration.

So, basically, I crashed into him, and he looked down at me, his head tilted adorably to the side. Bending down a little, he lowered himself until he was on my eye level.

I was still 16 then. And short. –ER. Haha. Short-ER. That looks kinda funny.

Alright, lunacies aside, back to the story. So he does the head tilt, bends down, and asks gently, "Well, what do we have here?"

I was tired. And bored. And my head was really fuzzled-up 'cause of this guy's damned beauty and perfection. It hurt my eyes.

It dazzled me. And I guess that's when I first fell for him.

And because of my dazzled-ness, the only idea my brain could come up with was to run.

So I ran, as fast as I could, back home, where I hid for a few days.

But soon, I was out again, once more wandering the city. And instead of the mafia, what I now sought was the white-haired man.

And then it happened. I was wandering down a narrow, old, stinky alley, probably subconsciously searching for the mafia again, and had just paused to examine a curiously perverse and repulsive piece of graffiti art. Then, I felt the touch of a hand on my head, and extremely frightened, turned around to see who it belonged to.

My oh my, it was my white-haired-man-person-thingymajigger! This time, he was gazing down at me, no longer smiling, but a kind look….in his eyes? I don't know. I'm not the type who believes in all that crap about "looking into his beautiful eyes, and falling into its mysterious depths blahblahblah…", but those eyes, or maybe the face, but definitely _something_ about him, expressed gentleness. He was being gentle the same way one would be gentle to a wild animal you didn't want to scare, so it wouldn't run away.

Oh geez, I leave really bad first impressions.

But, well, he was looking down at me, and he's all "Hello", and I'm all "Hey, mister, what's your name," and he's all "Call me Byakuran," and I'm all "Oh that's an interesting name, I've never heard it before, is it Italian?" and he's all "No, it's Japanese. It means white chrysanthemum," and I'm all, "Oh, that's pretty," and he's all, "What's your name?" and I'm all "Lirah, L-I-R-A-H, pronounced LEE-rah" and he's all "Oh, that's an interesting name too."

And we stop for a bit. A short pause. And then he does the head tilt again, and asks, "So, what are you doing in a place like this?"

Interestingly, my mind failed me, and my mouth just blurted out, without any thought or intention whatsoever, "Looking for the mafia."

I was about to facepalm myself for such a stupid answer, but was stopped short when I saw him tilt his head back a little and laugh lightly. It was a beautiful laugh—soft, trilling, lyrical…it made my heart sing with joy. Yum.

And so, I'm really surprised, right? So I say, "Pardon?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a question though—were you serious about that? Why would you be looking for the mafia?"

"Um…I want to join them…"

At this, he laughed again, and I was delighted to find that I had managed to coax such a beautiful sound out of him. He eye-smiled, and said, "Which famiglia were you thinking about?"

"I'm sorry…?"

"You see, the mafia are divided into separate famiglia. You might want to do a little bit of research, pick a famiglia, and then go look for that specific one, instead of wandering around aimlessly like this."

"Oh…well, I knew that, it's just that…I figured that I'd join any mafia famiglia that would take me."

"But did you have any preferences?"

"Um…sort of…I mean, I just thought that if the Millefiore would take me, I'd be really honored…but I was sure they wouldn't, so…"

"Hmm, Millefiore. Interesting. Did you have a second choice?"

"Um, the Vongola? Because, well, I thought that since they were the best, they'd probably lose out and fall soon, and the Millefiore was rising. But I heard that…" and I stopped, blushing. I vaguely wondered why I was spilling my guts to a total stranger.

Byakuran poked my nose. "Go on…?"

"Well, I heard that they had really…good…hitmen."

"Oh come on, that can't be it."

"Well, good probably isn't the right word. Let's try…dashing."

Byakuran tilted his head backward and laughed again, this time with genuine amusement. I was a little annoyed and embarrassed now. "Hey, don't laugh! It's not like any of them could possibly be better looking than—"

Byakuran was eye-smiling at me, noticing my abrupt stop. I'd stopped because I realized that the next word I would have said was "you." That would never do, nuh-uh. But Byakuran already figured out what I was about to say, and lightly swiped me over the head. "It's okay, I'm sure that you're just flattering me. Come on."

He took my wrist and started leading me down the alley, and I obediently followed, until I suddenly stopped short and pulled free. "Where are you taking me?"

"To the mafia, of course."

"…Wait, what? I'm afraid I didn't catch that."

Another delicious laugh. "Oh, you caught that all right. Come on!" And he once more grabbed my wrist and pulled me down, down that alley, around many turns and smaller trails and weird cracks in the wall, until we came out into the light.

I'd missed the light. I was glad Byakuran had brought me out, because it would have taken me days to find my way out.

Surprised that we had stopped, I looked up at him, and saw that he was looking into the distance with a thoughtful look. The respite lasted only a minute, and then we were off again, dashing down the city's streets, around corners, through many little crooks, and crowds of people. We then arrived at a modest-looking door opening onto a rather impressive building. At this point, I was close to collapsing on my feet. Byakuran picked me up and carried me in, commenting that he'd "have to work on her strength and endurance a bit." Harrumph. I'd always prided myself on my strength and endurance.

He carried me up the elevator into what looked like an office, and then set me down on the couch, squatting down in front of me. "So, little missy, do you know what's going on?"

"Er…" I hazarded a crazy guess, just for the fun of it. "I'm in the Millefiore building, and you're the Millefiore boss, and you're going to accept me into your mafia group because you're going to use me to help take over the Vongola Famiglia, because you'll discover awesome superpowers in me, and, and—"

Byakuran placed a finger on my lips to shush me, causing me to blush bright red. He crossed his arms in mock rage. "Where are you getting all this inside information?"

I stared, and stared, and stared at him until I realized that the crazy guess I was making had been true. And then I cackled maniacally and fell over.

Byakuran tells me that he had to hand me over to his staff to get me cleaned up and put in the hospital, because when I blacked out, I hit myself on the corner of his glass coffee table, and his gun. And the gun was set off, and he himself got shot too.

Which explained why, the next day, I woke up in bandages on a hospital bed, and Byakuran was on the bed next to me getting his bandage replaced. It was a pretty funky experience.

I still have perfect memory of this whole thing. :D Even what we said, to the word.

It's pretty late, and I have a report due to Byakuran tomorrow that I need to proofread. So goodnight and maybe I'll tell you more tomorrow.

Maybe.

Lirah Ghirlanda

(who feels like a lame idiot for telling her life story to an inanimate object.)

Oh, and by the way…my mood seems to be affected by the people I'm around.

But it works both ways, in the way that the people I'm around are affected too.

Well, let's just put it this way. When I'm around serious and depressed and sad and generally emo people, I get really hyper and crack-ish and…and….crazy. Yah. But when I'm around really crack-ish and crazy people, I get more serious. And you could see that I act more normal and think more normal.

Of course, there are in-betweens.

And the thing is that it's almost like I give off stuff that the people take in, because after hanging around with me for a while, emo people turn more crack-ish and crack-ish people turn more emo.

So I'm either a subconscious mind controller or just…weird.

I think I'm siding more with the second option.


	2. Chapter 2

Nyeh. Thanks for the favorites, everybody. But I really WOULD like a few reviews.

Really. –cue dangerous glare-

^-^ Just kidding. But still, REVIEW.

Um, I'm aware that this OC has a rather cliché past. Sorry. Eheheheh…

*************

Dear Blank Paper,

It's coffee break, but everyone's on assignment. So there's no one to talk to, it's a 2-hour long stretching/coffee break, and I decided that I'd just write in you. I didn't have training today, 'cause my coach-trainer person is off on assignment, so I don't need to stretch. Or relax. Or drink coffee.

Tea would be nice though. Some nice Mo Li Hua. Or maybe Tie Guan Yin. Chinese tea rocks.

Anyways.

So to continue on with my story. I woke up at the hospital, except I wasn't feeling too well. You see, I'd gotten a pretty nasty concussion, and was currently dealing with an infection. The doctors tell me that it was a virus they didn't know how to fight. They told me that if I couldn't fight it off within 24 hours, then I'd be dead. All about willpower.

Dead as a doornail. Those were his words. But as Charles Dickens once said, what in hell is so dead about a doornail?

Of course, that was paraphrased.

Well, anyway, I decided that dying would be a pretty nice option. See, I was orphaned at birth, but smart enough to fend for myself. No, I'm not a monster for being able to fend for myself at birth. And no, I'm not lying. I was in an orphanage for a while, but then I lived on the streets. I was strong and clever enough to avoid the street bullies and adults, and still live really well. Really really well. Since everyone on the streets was scared of me, I made it my empire. Everyone obeyed me. Gyahahah.

That lasted about half a year, and then I got bored and killed everyone. I took up all the money I made them get for me and bought myself a manor.

Definitely better than living on the streets.

And I never really had anything to live for. Not really. Not until I discovered the mafia, and recognized their power and influence.

That's when I started wanting to influence people around me. I knew my tiny place in the world, and I wanted my place to be bigger. To be more important. I wanted to actually _matter_, to somehow have the power to influence and affect others. In a way, I had already done that when I'd taken over my street empire, but I had ruled through brute strength alone. I wanted to be…okay, this is really hard to explain. But you know the difference between barbarian village chiefs and Emperors of the future empires?

There are some points in which they're different, but the main, most important thing that was the same was probably organized civilization, and intelligence.

I wanted to influence people the way conquesting emperors did, not the way barbarian non-brainiacs did.

I decided to find a way to join the Mafia.

You see, this was more or less…kind of like…a last stand thing. I wasn't happy with my life, not really.

So while I lay there burning up with a fever, I nearly lost my desire to live. The Mafia might have been close in my grasp, but I knew that people die anyways, so whether I died now or later didn't really matter. It's kind of complicated, my mental processes that day, and I can't express them really that well. I wasn't that lucid, you see. The whole fever kinda screwed my brain up. And by some insane reasoning, I decided that if the Mafia couldn't save me on this one, I didn't want the Mafia. And if I didn't want the Mafia, there'd be no reason to live through my mediocre existence, and so I might as well die now.

Kind of confusing, innit? My thoughts were confusing anyways, and not all thoughts are easily expressible.

What was that word again?

Ineffable.

My thoughts during that time were rather ineffable.

Oh, yeah, and also, I was bored and lazy. So I thought dying would actually be pretty cool. I'm also kind of guessing that…heheh…ehhh….that was my main reason for trying my best to die.

Please don't hate me. ^-^ Because I'm cute, right?

Anyways…

It was the 23rd hour, and I was starting to lower my eyelids when I felt a cool touch on my forehead. I can't remember what happens after this that well, so maybe I'll tell you what Byakuran told me. And I have every reason to believe that he told the truth. I do remember certain things rather fuzzily, though. Maybe I'll just tell you the fuzzy stuff.

When I felt that touch, I woke up. My fever-bright eyes fluttered open. I vaguely remember feeling a horrible thirst, and a thick pain at the back of my throat. My eyes seemed to be caked with something crusty. But at that touch, the pain seemed to melt away. It took awhile, trickling away slowly and gently. It felt like, after being trapped in a small room for days and days, a crack had finally opened in the wall, and cool, fresh air was seeping in.

Yeah, it was seeping in, but agonizingly slowly.

I remember feelings a sense of relief. And the sense that a chance at life was being given to me. A chance to live the way I wanted to, without dying before that could be accomplished.

And I sensed that I couldn't just wait for this relief to trickle into me. I had to fight to open the crack wider, or little stones would clog it up again, and I'd once more lose my chance to grab at life's threads.

Hmm, I'm writing with a rather dreary and emo feel, huh? Interesting.

I'm also hopelessly jumbling things up. Ah well. Ineffability.

Well, Byakuran tells me that he had found the cure, but it was only a partial cure. Apparently, all it did was clear my mind, and let me reason clearly.

He tells me that the rest of it was all my work, and that I had wrought a miracle. I tell him that the miracle was caused by him, but he just gives me that maddening smile of his and doesn't say anything.

Apparently, I lay still in the cot for about 2 hours, fighting off the virus. The doctor tells me that the miracle was that I managed to survive for an extra hour. I blame it on Byakuran's cure.

Oh yeah, and Byakuran said that the first thing I said when I woke up was "Because I'm cute." Meheheh.

When people ask why I follow Byakuran so blindly and loyally, I just tell them that I owe it to him. He saved my life.

But somehow, that's not all. It's just the only thing that I can express easily and people can understand. And when they hear that, they don't ask questions. It seems that Byakuran saves lives on a regular basis.

There's something about him, some insane power, or wisdom, or _something_, that just makes his followers loyal to the death. It didn't make sense to me.

I think that what he did was really just to give them a reason to adore him, and then let that ripen over time, until it developed into this huge lock and chain that locked his servants to him. Thoughts are powerful.

And though most of his followers don't realize this, after a bit of thinking, I've realized one thing.

To him, all of us are dispensable. We're all just toys, chess pieces, tools that he's using on his path to greatness and domination. And when he's done with us, we'll be discarded.

Discarded like withered flowers in the wind.

He's everything to me, and I am nothing to him. And though I may be the only one in the whole Millefiore family to have recognized this, I found myself accepting it without question.

Why?

Because to serve Byakuran is an honor, even if it means that he will do away with you later. Just being with him makes someone feel important. Wanted. Needed.

I've never been needed or wanted. Ever. Never by someone else. And then someone comes along and _proves_ to me that at least for now, I'm wanted.

That's why I stay with Byakuran.

Of course, another reason is that if I deserted, he'd kill me. No question about that. Once you're with Byakuran, you don't have much of a choice to do anything else.

And there's always that other annoying little factor—I'm absolutely infatuated with him. He personally attends my training sessions, and always joins me during breaks, asking questions about my training and development. He tells me that he has something in store for me. It all makes me feel really…special.

Of course, in reality, I'm doomed to die.

Hmm, he's calling for me right now. I thought he was busy?

Well, Ima go. Byebye!

Lirah Ghirlanda

*****************

Dear Booky,

I just got back from a short meeting with Byakuran.

He tells me that I've been assigned to an espionage mission. Exciting.

The annoying thing is, he won't tell me the details until tomorrow. He tells me that I am to finish packing today, and meet him with my bags at the airport tomorrow at 9. I asked him why he wouldn't tell me, because I can't possibly know what to pack if I didn't know my mission, and he just laughed.

A beautiful laugh. Really.

And then he told me that if he told me now, I wouldn't feel so great. And then, leaning in close, he told me that this was a crucial mission, and that the very fact that he chose me to do this was proof of his absolute trust in me. As intended, I felt greatly abashed and honored.

But, when asking him what I should pack, he just told me to pack stuff I would need on a trip overseas for a few months. My assignment might be terminated anytime, but for now, I was to prepare for a few months.

And then he told me that another reason he was sending me on this mission was for my learning and development. He says that there are things inside of me waiting to be unlocked.

Oh, I forgot to tell you something. Byakuran has already discovered 4 different types of wave energies inside me. It's astounding, apparently. He says that to have more than one is already an amazing feat, but to have 4? Amazing. And he believes that I have more.

That's just what he said. I still don't really get the point of wave energies. Haven't ever received a ring or a ring box or anything yet, so yeah. I wouldn't know.

And then, get this…right before I close the door behind me to start packing, he pops his head out and smiles at me, with one last sentence: "I hope you know how to speak Japanese~"

No, I don't know how to speak Japanese. Fool.

Adorable, lovable, beautiful, glorious, dazzling fool.

I hate you, fool.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

NONONONO I TAKE THAT BACK I LOVE YOU.

But you're the reason that I'm procrastinating with my diary so that I don't have to learn Japanese in one night. Do you _realize_ how complicated that language is?

Oh, no, he doesn't. He knows how to speak it. Right.

And, O'shit, I just called this book a diary.

……………………………

Screw ink pens.

Eh. Whatever. This book is a really good way to procrastinate while actually looking like I'm doing something. Heh.

Gah, I think I have to go borrow some books on Japanese from Byakuran's library now.

Toodles~

Lirah Ghirlanda

P.S. I'm now christening this book of paper "Booky". I thought it looked nice, and sounded nice, when I used it. Soz yup.

P.P.S. I don't like Japanese.

P.P.P.S. Do I HAVE to go to the libra—oh all right. . I'll go. I'm going, okay?

P.P.P.P.S. I'm GOING ALREADY!

P.P.P.P.P.S. Bye-bye~


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Booky (Ooh I like that name),

I just realized that I named an inanimate object. Heresy!

Anyways. I'm on the plane. Hahaheeheehaho. Ho.

I've got a Japanese book open under you, just in case that Irie person Byakuran sent to escort me comes to visit from first class. Then I can hide you under it and pretend to study.

Yeah, I'm in economy class. I traded spots with someone, because being in the presence of rich people makes me nervous. Unless it's Byakuran, of course.

It's my first time on an airplane. Byakuran told me that if it hadn't been an espionage mission, I woulda gotten to take his private plane. So he bought both me and Irie a first-class ticket, and sent us off.

I didn't even get a chance to complain about the Japanese thing, cuz he disappeared in an instant. I think he was running away. Hah, the loser.

The insanely beautiful loser.

It's raining, and apparently, the flight might be delayed. Oh, look, we're moving. I take all that about the delaying back. The rain looks really cool streaming across the window…the person next to me told me that he's never seen that before. And he travels a lot. He says it's because planes rarely take off in rain.

Wow, it's just flowing by, like random rivers that appear and disappear. The sky outside's really gray…

I just had a really emo thought that I'm embarrassed to write about.

Oh, what the heck, you're private. Okay. So like, that streaming rain looks like rivers of tears. It kinda makes me feel sad.

WHOAAA my head feels really weird. We're lifting off, and I can barely move my arm properly.

Oh shit, I think I just inked like half the page. My bad.

Maybe I should stop writing.

Yeah, I'll be back later, bye. Irie's walking over, and it looks like he's going to test me. I'm doomed.

…..Wait, why's he walking during takeoff?

_~Six hours later~_

Hey, I'm back. Yeah, the idiot tried to quiz me, and I passed. Hah, hah, hah. He says that I still need to practice a little though, because apparently, I have horrible, horrible pronunciation. Who gives a shit?

Okay, well, I have to tell you about the details of my espionage mission. Byakuran told me about it at the airport. Apparently, I'm being sent to Japan (Oh, shock), to spy on the Vongola.

I was like, nice. Cuz, I mean, all those hot hitmen are in that famiglia. Haha. Hah.

Except he tells me that I'm joining the Varia.

Needless to say, I was pretty surprised. Do I have the skills? Seriously? The _Varia???!?!?!?!?_

Those people are the elite. The elite of the elite. Byakuran was smiling and saying that I could easily beat their boss, but I'm not about to believe it. Xanxus is _crrraaaaazzzzzeh._

And yes, I've definitely done plenty of research on them~

I heard that the hottest hitmen are all in the Varia. :D Oh yes. Pwnage.

And the gayest. I mean, Lussuria is just…….well, okay, he's cool. And awesome. But he's still gay. Really gay, in a totally pwn way.

Byakuran was probably joking. He _did_ tell me that if I did a little research on them, I wouldn't be so happy about maybe joining them. And that, for now, he was a little worried about my loyalty. Ha, ha, very funny, Byakuran. Very funny.

And get this, my darling Byaku-chan (shudder)—I DID do my research. And I still love them.

…Except for maybe the fact that several years back, they dug out one of your spies from the Vongola and killed him. Um. They, uh, skinned him. Alive. And then fished his kidneys and one lung out. While he was alive.

They have _methods._ :O

Well anyways, I was supposed to join them for a while, observe them, get to know them, and learn as much as I could about the Vongola and its secrets from them. And then I was to return and give a report. I was told that my position in the Varia would require much interaction with the Vongola, so I'd have a lotta chances to gather information. Judging by the amount and quality of information that I gather, my mission may either be extended or discontinued.

Secretly, just between you and me—I'm hoping that it'll be extended.

This is so exciting.

Oh, yeah, by the way, the chance that I'll be found out and killed is approximately 97.8%. I don't mind that much, as long as it isn't Lussuria who kills me. Heh.

97.8%.

Heehee, haha, hohohohohohoho hee haahooo.

Uwhoooahhhh.

Ah think ah mahght be losin' mah mahnd.

Poop.

Ohohohohohoho! I get to meet Belphegor and Squalo, and maybe train with them.

I might even get to _kill_ people with them. I _love_ killing people. The first time I killed someone, I was two. Yeah.

……

I never told you about that?

I was still in an orphanage back then, actually. I killed my 6 year old roommate, and my 8 year old neighbor-roommate, and my 16-year-old tutor, and then the 22-year old housekeeper. It was all this big scuffle about my morning mood-cookie. I'll tell you about that later. So anyways, the lady in charge of the orphanage got scared of me and threw me out. It was really darned awesome. She didn't even clean me up, so I was out on the streets covered in blood.

Even though I was only 2 and barely able to walk yet, everyone screamed when they saw me.

I told Byakuran about that, and he called me a monster. I just gave him a look that said, "and you aren't?"

He ignored me. Bah. But he said that I was a monster not because I had killed, but because I had enjoyed the experience of being covered in blood, and people running away at the sight of me. And that I was a monster because of my insanely detailed memory.

My memory is another one of the reasons he's sending me on the mission. Meheheheheh. They'll never catch a single written word that I don't want them to see~

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!

Yeah, I'm definitely losing it. No matter, I think it'll be an interesting, educational, and fun experience for everyone.

Besides, they all say that the Varia is mainly composed of lunatics.

I'll be cut off from the Millefiore during the mission until my pre-determined return date, though. :[ That makes me sad.

This plane flight is so _long._ Gah. It's cramped in the economy class too. Wish I still had my first class seat, there was a nice comfy bed. And real food.

I'll go ask Irie to trade seats!!!!! Gyahahah!

_~five minutes later~_

TOT Irie had me kicked out of the first class cabin after giving me a donut, because I threatened him with violence for a first class seat. That sucks.

People are giving me weird looks. Hey, I'm 19 and crazy, okay? Have some tolerance for this poor little girl.

I'm going to sleep. Baye-Baye~~

Lirah Ghirlanda


	4. Chapter 4

I just spent the whole day reading _Complications_ by Ita-Neo. It's so PWNSOME. Must. Read. MOAR.

Well, anyways, back to this fic. I always wonder why my stories aren't popular at all…perhaps because my characters are all Mary-Sue and I always make the KHR characters OOC? And my plotlines are all cliché, and sometimes things get too sappy between my characters.

But that's okay. Because I like to write the way I like to write. Sappy, cliché storylines make me happy, and MarySue names only aggravate me the tiniest bit.

If you don't like it, don't read it. And if you read it, go ahead and flame me. I like flaming people, so why can't people flame me?

I _like_ flaming people. It doesn't mean I flame people on a regular basis. In fact, I've never done so.

Just clearing things up a bit.

:D

So! Onto the story!

Oh, and by the way…don't be too surprised if I switch in and out of first and third person? And if I drop the Diary stuff from time to time.

*********************

Dino was just a tad bit confused.

So….there was a new entry to the Varia, and she was to be monitored closely.

So why was the Vongola telling him this again? Cheh. Sure, they were so closely allied that the difference in famiglia barely mattered anymore, but…he was dealing with several of his own problems too! There was a leaking faucet, Enzio had a cold, and they had run out of coffee.

He didn't have time to waste receiving rather useless messages like this. He was about to shred the note when a rather jumpy Romario tapped him on the shoulder. "Ehh, boss? The messenger dude told me to tell you to read the fine print…"

Dino twitched. He was _not_ in a good mood today. Not really sure why, actually. He's usually in a really good mood. Just not today. With trembling hands, he searched the note for fine print. Giving up, he had a magnifying glass brought to him and scanned every square millimeter of the paper.

Oh, look. A speck of dust. How very intriguing. Perhaps this is the 'fine print' previously mentioned. Dino rumpled his gorgeous golden hair and sighed exasperatedly, and then ordered a microscope to be brought, tugging irritated-ly at his bathrobe.

Eventually, he located the intriguing speck of dust and studied it. Closely. It appeared to be some words typed in _extremely_ fine print. He switched the magnification lens up higher, and tried his best to locate the message again.

It showed up perfectly. What a joke. He had to admire the technology though—any normal "fine print" would have just turned up as splatters of ink on a page at a magnification level as high as this.

_She calls herself Lirah, and is a phenomenal fighter, although she doesn't seem to notice it. If she finds out that you're observing her and accidentally kills you, we hold no responsibilities._

"…." Since when did they tell him that _he_ was the one who was supposed to "observe" her?

_Oh, and by the way…judging by our "Personality Match-Up Robot", her personality is so closely suited to two members in the Vongola that it's rather shocking. The first is Belphegor._

Dino blinked. Belphegor? Pah. Yeah, right. Musta been some screw-up inside the system.

…_and the second is you. MUAHAHAHHHAAHAH!_

Dino twitched again, resisting the urge to cause the shred of paper to lose its current form of substance. Who had typed this thing, anyways? And of course the personalities matched—Dino tried to befriend everyone. Even Hibari.

But not everyone wanted to be friends with him. Especially not Hibari-kun. TOT It was rather depressing sometimes.

_Oh, and remember that when we say "personalities match", we don't just mean that you'll be friends. Judging by the machine's words, she'll be friends with absolutely everyone, with the possible exception of Xanxus and Hibari Kyouya. But in you and Bel's case, we simply meant that you two were potential soul mates._

Oh great. So now he was going to spy on someone who might potentially be a spy and his soulmate. And he might potentially receive an order to kill her, if she _was_ a spy. What a joke. What a lame, lame joke.

Oh geez, Dino thought. I really am grumpy today, eh? He glanced around, noticing that all of his family would coward in fright when they noticed that his gaze was on them.

Am I really that scary? Enzio was giving me that look this morning that said "Is it that time of month again?"

That can't be a good thing.

Dino thought really hard about the cause of his annoyance. Really, really hard. And then he hit it!

He. Hadn't. Had. His. Coffee. This. Morning.

Cracking his knuckles meaningfully, Dino turned and looked at his assembled family members with a rather demonic look in his eyes. Since none of his subordinates had ever seen Dino like this, _ever_, they were all rather stunned. Dino was cackling maniacally. "_Who was it…who didn't…give…me….my…COFFEH!?!?!?!?"_

The terrified subordinates screamed and ran for their lives, while a rather lost-looking Romario stood at the top of the steps, alone and forlornly staring into a mug full of steaming coffee. "….But I was about to give it to him…."

Enzio stood on the table in Dino's room, curiously staring at the bottles of pills on his desk. One of them was open, and toppled over. Sauntering casually over, Enzio rolled it over until the side with the words flipped upwards. "Help yourself look bright and chipper in the morning! Try these Mornin'-Awake pills, and hop around as awake as a hare on a March weekend! Warning: Side effects may include severe attacks of rage and lunacy."

Enzio blinked, and then warily looked over his shoulder. Uh-oh

***********

Oh dear.

Lirah wandered through the airport, the teensiest bit confused. Oh dearie dearie dear. She'd lost Irie-chan, and now she lost herself.

What a coinkidink. But it's okay, because she has money. Enough to last someone several lifetimes, though. Lirah didn't know that because of her supreme ignorance in these matters, but Byakuran had noticed her money stash and suggested that she bring it with her. He even added a little to it, just for safety purposes.

So Lirah happily settled down at a sushi bar inside the airport, and was sipping tea and munching on sushi when an extremely distressed Shouichi located her.

"Lirah-san! I've been looking all over the place for you."

Ahh, the man was using Japanese to speak to her—he was obviously at home when using that language. So she replied to him in the same language, perfectly fluently. "Ah, Shouichi-sama! I knew you would be looking for me, so I figured that it wouldn't do for two people two be dashing all over the place and looking for each other. So I sat down to wait for you. Oh, and this stuff is really good. What's it called again?" She said it in a light, friendly and polite tone, with her eyes curled up in a smile and her head tilted to one side.

"Eh…Sushi, Lirah-san. And you don't generally eat it with a fork and knife." Irie stopped panting for a bit, his breath caught up momentarily. My, my, the young lady really resembled Byakuran-sama when she did that. It was rather disorientating. And her Japanese…when had it gotten so perfect?

He suddenly recalled how Byakuran-sama had said something about her insane intelligence and memory. Such a talent. And yet she couldn't even remember the name of one of the most famous examples of Japanese culinary art.

Looking up from his thoughts, he saw that Lirah was holding her tea, looking past his shoulder with a far-away look in her eyes. She was feeling rather removed from the world today. Like…like everything was sort of floating past her, and wasn't very closely related to her at all. All of her normal hyperactiveness and lunacy seemed to have deserted her.

Lirah watched through the glass as outside, an elderly lady dropped her bags and luggage, and a few passersby nearby immediately stopped to help her, nodding and smiling at each other like old acquaintances.

Why…? What….what is this comradeship?

Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully, a soft look floating in them, her head tilted to the side, thoughts wandering here and there. Life…what is life? Was it really just killing and slaughter, birth and death? Was it really just blood? That's what she'd always thought…that's what she'd always lived by. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten.

But things were changing. And more and more, she was beginning to see new things, notice new things. She saw different people, too—people who were kind, and loving. What was this? She could feel it around her…this contentment and happiness. It was like everyone was at peace with everyone else.

Why…?

Why was her entire world being undermined? All her thoughts and ideals had been centered on this idea of the survival of the fittest. It had always been every man for himself. So why was everything suddenly changing?

What was this…warm…thing?

Irie seemed to have it. He seemed to be full of it. Those people out there…they all seemed to be the posessors of it.

What was this? Why was it that when she tried to sense it in Byakuran, she….couldn't find it?

She could sense it, but for now, the feeling was just barely, barely there. Barely detectable at all.

But the seed had been planted, and the sprout would soon grow. She had a feeling that this warmness would soon be even warmer.

She was snapped out of her reverie when Irie ordered a pot of Mo Cha for himself. Noticing that she was back with the world, he smiled at her. "The chauffeur isn't due for another hour or so, so I thought that since we're here already, we might as well rest and relax for a bit."

Nodding rather absentmindedly, Lirah picked up her cup of tea and stared quietly into it, missing the look that Irie shot at her. An observing look—the type of look that said, "I won't miss a thing."

Irie took advantage of Lirah's mental absence and sent out a message on his cell phone.

_Reborn-sama, we have just landed. She will meet you in the hotel lobby at precisely 2.30 PM. For security reasons, I will not be present._

_Irie Shouichi_

_************_

I can't do crack.

And even if I could, this character isn't especially suited for it.

But hey. She might. So maybe. Because I really, really want to do a crackfic right now.

:D

Please review! Reading without reviewing is like eating without paying. I think that after all this hard work, I deserve at least a few words of either praise or flames, right? :]


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Booky-doodles,

…I have no idea why I just…wrote that. Weird.

Well! I wanted to describe my day to you!

Being in Japan puts me in a really quiet and thoughtful mood. It's rather disconcerting. Oh well. So! Onto the topic!

The topic, the topic. Hmm. The topic. Oh, right. I was about to describe my day to you.

So, Irie-chan brought be to this hotel thingy that I forgot the name of because I don't care about things like that, and introduced me to a little baby person called Reborn. I knew him to be an Arcobaleno, because I'm not stupid.

Of course I'm not stupid. Pshhh.

Anyways, so there was this blonde Italian dude with this Italian baby dude, and they stared at me for a long time. I think it's my green-gray eyes. Lotsa people tell me that they're scary. Teehee.

I think I'm high off Japanese air. And food. Oh boy, Japanese food—

Ohnowait, I still have to tell you about my day. Okay, so then, I looked around for Irie-chan, but he wasn't there.

Suspicious!

But anyways, I decided to break the awkward silence and say hi, because every time there's an awkward silence, a gay baby is born.

Hmm, that might not be a bad thing…

But anyways! The dialogue went something like this:

Lirah: Ciaossu!

Reborn and Dino: …-expressions of astonishment-

Lirah: …Wassamatter?

Reborn: Ciaossu.

Dino: -twitching spasmodically- Ciao.

-Pause for another awkward silence.-

Lirah: Glorious weather we have today!

Reborn and Dino: -glances dubiously out of window at angry-looking skies- Sure.

Another awkward pause, in which I believe 3 gay babies were born.

Reborn: Ciaossu.

Lirah: …-SMILE REALLY BIG-

Dino: -winces, sighs- Here, lemme take those bags for you.

He ended up on the receiving end of my signature Lirah-glare, which wasn't really that scary. But who gives a #$*!?

So instead, he opted to just show me to my room. I despise him already. Annoying, impertinent brat…

I get to my room, and you can imagine my surprise when you see Reborn sitting on my largest luggage bag, which was somehow…already there. These Mafioso people really are superhuman. Mommy said never to marry a Mafioso.

I'm not very sure where that came from. Anyways, Reborn proceeded to lecture me about my job, blahblahblah, which was basically assassin work. Good. Fun. Assassinations are fun. Then he told me that I was to first receive a personal trainer, Hibari.

Behind him, I saw Dino looking gloomy. Ooohhhh~~~ Maybe Dino was jealous that I got to spend time with Hibari. Womanly intuitions, ya know.

So, anyways, I cheerfully agreed to all his conditions without really listening to them, and all the Varia rules without really listening to them, and to keep away from Bel's knife kit without really listening to them, and to keep away from Xanxus without really listening to them, and then ushered them out of the room, smiling cheerfully, as they continued to babble warnings and precautions.

Phew. So now that that was over and done with, I decided to settle down with my dear little Booky-poo and write something.

I'm starting to think that I really did take the wrong medications sometime back. Byakuran-sama must have done it! I blame it on the marshmallow lover, because heaven knows, marshmallow-lovers are all evil.

There's definitely something wrong with me.

Anyways, I was about to settle down peacefully with you when Irie-chan suddenly pops his head in.

Party pooper.

So he goes ahead and repeats everything that Reborn and Dino were trying to fit into my head, and I'm starting to find him annoying, because at least _they_ did it in Italian. This guy just _has_ to go and do it in Japanese.

So I agree to all his crap, again, without really listening to it. Teehee.

When he's gone, I decide to escape from my room, because I was sure it was cursed, and attracted annoying people at the most annoying times.

I managed to locate a teahouse nearby, where I am now sitting and writing in you. Out of my peripheral vision right now, I see Reborn stalking towards me with a rather purposeful look. I bet that isn't good. I'm going to keep on writing and pretend he isn't behind me, and close enough to poo on me. He's tapping my shoulder. He's reading over my shoulder. Oh no wait, he can't do that…

-five minutes later-

I'm in the bathroom now. I told him I had to go, because I still haven't said bye to you. It seems like he'll be taking up the rest of my time today, so I'll talk to you more tomorrow. Maybe. I'll be going to the headquarters tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'll have time. Bye!


End file.
